Death of a Unicorn

Why Are We Putting Dead Things in Cars……?

I was hyped for Death of a Unicorn. I mean — Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, A24, and mythical murder? Yes, please. But within the first ten minutes, we get the scene. They “accidentally” turn a unicorn into roadkill (sorry, spoiler, but it’s literally the title), and then—without blinking—they load it into the back of their car like it’s a perfectly normal Tuesday.

Excuse me… is this a thing? Because I grew up in Florida. We’ve got swamps, gators, and some questionable backwoods areas, but I can honestly say I’ve never tossed a dead anything into my trunk. Maybe I just haven’t hit anything “legendary” enough (apologies to the countless squirrels, raccoons, armadillos, and possums in my past). But still—Hollywood, who told you this was normal?

Also, producers… where are you from? Because that unicorn? Way too much like an emo elk. Just saying. Not trying to criticize—okay, I am—but somebody needs to hear it. And also: please don’t encourage people to load “dead” wild animals into their cars. Newsflash: sometimes they’re not dead. I have stories. Southern people have stories. None of them end well.

Beyond that, the movie is chaotic fun, satirical, and occasionally bonkers—in both good and bad ways. But me? I’m side-eyeing the whole “car-corpse” subplot. Unicorn or not, y’all can keep that in the movies.