Reel Review Mom

Spies, Snark, and My Crush on Gary Oldman (Don’t Judge Me)….

If you’re looking for a show that’s equal parts clever, gritty, and deeply British (like, “make you crave tea and sarcasm” British), look no further than Slow Horses on Apple TV. While, it’s not necessarily a new TV series, it’s new to me and what I’ve been streaming this week so far, LOL!

All four seasons of Slow Horses are streaming now—each just six episodes long, which is basically the perfect binge size for people like me who can’t commit to a 10-season, 20-episode each situation. And guess what…? Season 5 is premiering September 24th. Yes, our favorite band of misfit spies is back to trip over their own shoelaces while still somehow saving the day.

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room—or should I say the old, cranky, chain-smoking elephant: Gary Oldman. My forever crush. Here’s the thing: in this show, he plays Jackson Lamb, who is basically the human embodiment of a dirty ashtray with a PhD in insults. He’s gross; his character is gross. He eats like a raccoon going through your trash at 2 a.m. And yet… I still ♥️ him. Am I proud of this? Absolutely not. Do I care? Also no, LOL.

But the show isn’t just about Lamb burping his way through MI5 screw-ups. One of my personal favorite actresses, Sophie Okonedo, shines as Ingrid. In the first couple of seasons, she doesn’t get much screen time (a crime, honestly), but starting in Season 3 she gets more involved—and let me tell you, Sophie brings such class and quiet strength to the chaos. Every scene she’s in feels elevated, like suddenly the clowns have to act like professionals.

Quick side rant: the theme song…. Supposedly Mick Jagger wrote it specifically for Slow Horses. Cool flex, right? Wrong. It’s honestly the worst part of the entire show. No offense to Sir Mick, but the song is so bad I’ve made it my personal mission to skip it every single time. It’s like a dare: “Can you hit the skip button fast enough before the vibe dies?” Yes, Mick, I can. And I will. Every. Single. Episode.

And for the record, one of the badass agents, Louisa, is played by Rosalind Eleazar. Yes, her first name is Rosalind. Like mine. Coincidence? I think not. Basically, this means I could totally be a spy if given the chance… or at least look cool in a trench coat.

So, whether you’re here for Oldman’s glorious nastiness, Sophie’s elegance, or just want to feel better about your own dysfunctional workplace, Slow Horses is the binge you didn’t know you needed. Just remember: skip the theme song, save your soul.